Hair

I’m losing my hair. And I don’t mean the occasional wayward strands.  I’m talking about dramatic and disconcerting fistfuls: in the shower, while brushing, it appears everywhere.   It’s gotten so bad that everyone in my house is finding wig-like dust bunnies. Apparently this is normal and to be expected in the 3-6 months after you have a baby.  But I am tempted to cry.

I won’t! I refuse!

It is true though.  Since I was old enough to have someone other than my mom cut my hair, I have used the act of a haircut as a vehicle for communicating profound emotion. A change in my life (college, a new city, a new apartment, all of the above) will prompt me to, in equally dramatic fashion, walk-in, or make a same day appointment, or bust out with my own personal shears, and get or give myself a new ‘do.  Take that world!
I’ve pretty much had every length of hair imaginable: Waist length, mid-back, shoulder, chin, ear, pixie, and shaved down to the scalp. However, the ‘business’ has kept my hair constrained to cast-able lengths. And recently I’ve been wondering if my desire to be entrepreneurially minded has also constrained my vision away from the reasons I became an artist in the first place.  And in parallel fashion, my dramatic shifts in hair style have reached a plateau.
You put one foot in front of the other, make one small decision after another, and suddenly yet imperceptibly you’ve climbed a staircase to somewhere you hadn’t originally intended on getting.  Let’s just call it, Please-like-me-ville.
But this same ‘mechanism’ of our day-to-day living can be used to get to an unexpectedly great place. Basically what this guy says — which is about stretching a little bit every day and how collectively all your actions of stretching (i.e. doing something that scares you a little, every day) will add up to some kind of awesomeness you never expected could be your life.

Biology is amazing — my hair loss is signifying a new page in my life and prompting me to deal with it and let go of an old way of being.  An old way of hustling.  But man, I don’t have time for that!  Thanks hair for the reminder: “You’re a mom now.  It’s ok to change.” So I did.  My hair just got a whole lot shorter today.  I am embracing a new way,  a little bit every day.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s